One year I phoned Greggs’ head office to ask if they did gift vouchers. Apparently I was the first person to ever ask.
Meryl O’Rourke is a born and bred south Londoner and critically acclaimed comic. Her solo stand up show Bad Mother was a hit at the Edinburgh and Brighton festivals, receiving five-star reviews and bagging a Times’ Critic’s Choice. She has also recently supported Frankie Boyle on tour, as well as performing her dysfunction-heavy stand-up routines at cult south London comedy venues including Greenwich’s Up the Creek and the Bedford in Balham. You might also have seen her on TV, popping up on Big Brother’s Bit on the Side, or on Twitter (@MerylORourke) where she’s been named by American comedy video website, Funny or Die, as one of the “30 funniest women to follow”.
What is your earliest south London memory?
Sitting outside the Freeman’s Catalogue Building in Oval in my pram, for hours. My childminder was, we realised too late, mental and would often leave me there and sod off. Mum’s friends told her later they’d seen me but didn’t want to worry her. This was 1972 when child neglect was considered an eccentric quirk.
Where would you like to live?
I like living in Streatham as we have every type of shop. It does, I grant you, look like solely fried chicken and facials. But you can find suede protector and newborn’s socks if you know where to look.
Who is your favourite south Londoner?
Adele. Born in Tottenham but wrote Hometown Glory about Norwood, she’s ours and you can tell she’s ours by the shameless way she sung an Oscar winning Bond theme in a broad saaf Landan accent: “Skyfaw, when we tumbaaw, we cean steand taw-e-aw-aw…”
What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
Its much easier when you accept that you’re actually not a very nice person.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SSeLlJA6-o&w=420&h=315]
What’s your happiest south London memory?
I feel very guilty, as a passionate Lambethan, that it took place in Edinburgh when I got my first five-star review for my solo show Bad Mother. As the show was autobiographical, though, it was spat out by south London upbringing. And of course the birth of my children… yadda yadda. (My children are not named Yadda and Yadda.)
What makes you unhappy?
Getting older isn’t much fun. I recently turned 42 and I worry a lot that I pretty much made the wrong life choices at every junction. I get very absorbed in thinking everyone’s having a much better time than I am.
What simple thing would improve your quality of life?
A man in his 20s looking at my naked body and saying, “No, really that’s fine, there’s really nothing here you need to worry about.”
Your favourite south London building?
One is Durning Library on Kennington Cross (right). It’s an unusually beautiful building.
The house I live in is…
On the estate where I grew up. It’s Right To Buy which I hate politically but love that I own my childhood house. I hope that living on an estate keeps me grounded. My parents both had foreign accents and brought me up to speak “properly”; Frankie Boyle, a close friend and someone from a deeply working class background, used to scoff at my claiming any common ground – until he dropped me home and the hooded teen sitting on the mattress by my wall asked him what the fuck he was looking at.
What is your greatest life achievement?
Having lived through two of Streatham’s Italian restaurants having a bitter Elvis impersonator based feud. And having seen both the Elvis impersonators perform.
What is your guilty London pleasure?
I really like how sullen everyone is. Outsiders complain it’s what’s crap about London, but I think it’s wonderful just being able to shut down and get some privacy.
Where do you hang out?
Trolling up and down Streatham High Road after school drop off. The only other people seem to be mums from my daughter’s school. Its almost like the Victorian idea of promenading.
Who or what do you hate and why?
Anyone who doesn’t return a text.
What’s your best – and worst – south London experience?
The best moments were the two children I brought home from St Thomas’ and King’s and worst were the two parents I said goodbye to at St Thomas’ and King’s.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
That it doesn’t remove it’s own eye make up when I’m tired.
What’s the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
Probably when I was about to, excitedly, embark on my first (and only) threesome and the other girl looked at me blankly and said: “Nah.”
What have you been up to today?
It’s my husband’s birthday tomorrow so I bought his presents – some gloves and three boxes of cakes from Gregg’s. One year I phoned Gregg’s head office to ask if they did gift vouchers. Apparently I was the first person to ever ask.
Tell us a secret.
I genuinely think I don’t have any more secrets. Every part of my life has been stripped clean and sacrificed for a cheap laugh.
Got a great interviewee to suggest for our weekly Southsayer Q&A? Email kate@belowtheriver.co.uk
